DoorDash or DoorDeception?
The many faces of Brenda
I order DoorDash quite a bit, too much, but I have reasons. A few of them are good reasons. Lately, I’m thinking I need to find another solution. DoorDash has gotten weird.
It used to be that when you ordered, you would get a notice that said, “Brenda is approaching with your order.” Cool. I still get that notification, but the person that shows up is definitely not Brenda. I cannot imagine what’s happening here, but I have some thoughts. DoorDash needs a better screening process. I imagine that, in a lot of cases, it’s pretty innocent. The real Brenda is home with the flu, and her doting boyfriend is doing her side hustle for her. Totally ok. My brain, however, doesn’t work that way. I blame it on too many years in so-called cybersecurity. My brain works like this.
Brenda’s boyfriend was locked up for a few years for petty theft, maybe armed robbery, or something similar. DoorDash is a great way to case houses for whatever nefarious purposes. It’s also a way to find new places to burglarize, vandalize, or whatever kids do nowadays. Regardless, it’s essential you know who is coming to your house. If it’s not Brenda, then who is it? Brenda’s subcontractor? Probably not. I don’t have any answers here, just curiosities of the paranoid but prepared mind.
I’ve never actually met Brenda, but she delivers my food all the time. She’s about 6' 1" with a slight stubble on her face and a close-to-bald haircut. Some days, she’s about 20, and other days, she's in her 40s. Brenda is quite the chameleon. I am pretty sure Brenda doesn’t exist, and if she does, then she’s running quite an operation. Who are you, Brenda, really?
DoorDash allegedly does “thorough” background checks and screenings of their drivers. I’m starting to doubt the validity of those claims. If there’s one thing I hate more than my food smelling like weed or cigarette smoke, it’s security theatre. Giving the illusion of safety to possibly vulnerable people is one of the worst things a company can do. They do it often. While I’m not particularly concerned about someone breaking in or trying to attack me or whatever, I’m not sure my neighbor, who lives alone and is elderly, feels the same way.
I’ve spoken to many of these guys who show up with a lady’s name. Most seem decent enough guys, just trying to make some cash. I get it. I’ve been the hustling type my whole life. My concern is, are they impersonating Brenda? Could they not pass DoorDash’s allegedly rigorous screening process? More importantly, is Brenda ok? My imagination tends to run wild in these situations. Brenda, if you’re out there, let me know you’re okay!
